Resolved to Fail (Again): A Very Christian New Year Fantasy
(Featuring Music from 1988 Because Excellence Peaked)
Before we talk about New Year’s resolutions, I need to confess something.
When my kids get in my car and Apple CarPlay connects, they immediately panic.
Because what comes out of the speakers is not:
Whatever is trending
Whatever is viral
Whatever was released five minutes ago
It’s certainly not Taylor Swift
It’s 1988.
Steve Perry. Journey.
Bryan Adams yelling about love like it personally wronged him.
Richard Marx emotionally oversharing at a piano.
Patty Smyth and Scandal absolutely refusing to apologize for anything.
The Hooters.
Bryan Duncan.
Lionel Richie asking, “Hello… is it me you’re looking for?”
Yes, Lionel. Yes it is.
My kids say,
“Dad… this sounds old.”
And I say,
“No—this is music. Back when people sang. With lungs. And feelings. And no autotune.”
Back when you had to mean the note, not just edit it later.
And honestly?
That’s exactly how most of us approach New Year’s resolutions.
Christians Love the Fantasy of Trying Harder
We don’t need new habits—we need new honesty.
Every January, Christians everywhere announce bold plans with absolutely no structural support.
“This year I’m going to:”
Read the Bible every day
Pray without distractions
Eat vegetables joyfully
Wake up early and be spiritual
We write it down.
We post it.
We feel holy.
And by January 17, we’re back to emotional eating and asking God to “understand our schedule.”
We call them resolutions.
The Bible calls them… optimistic.
Scripture Is Deeply Unimpressed with Willpower
Self-control is biblical. Self-salvation is not.
Jesus said:
“Apart from Me, you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
Not “less.”
Not “not as much.”
Nothing.
That verse has ruined more planners than TikTok ever could.
God is not anti-discipline.
He’s anti-delusion.
Because effort without dependence is just spiritual autotune—
it sounds impressive, but it’s not real.
Israel Didn’t Make Resolutions—They Made Excuses
Israel didn’t wander the wilderness because they lacked goals.
They wandered because they lacked trust.
They didn’t say:
“This year we resolve to complain less.”
They said:
“Was slavery not good enough for us?”
Which is wild—because nothing says spiritual nostalgia like missing oppression.
When trust is absent, nostalgia gets loud.
God didn’t need Israel to promise obedience.
He needed them to follow.
God Has Never Asked for a Better You—Only a Surrendered One
Let’s be clear.
God is not waiting for:
Your upgraded personality
Your tighter routine
Your streaks and systems
He’s waiting for surrender.
Sanctification is not self-improvement with worship music playing softly in the background.
The only resolution God actually honors is this:
“I can’t do this without You.”
That prayer has never failed.
Trust Is the Only Resolution That Survives the Year
Trust works in January and October.
Trust doesn’t require:
Motivation
Momentum
A fresh notebook
Trust just requires honesty.
Trust says:
“God, I don’t know what I’m doing—but You do.”
That’s not weakness.
That’s discipleship.
A Pastoral Confession (From a Man Still Living in 1988 Musically)
As a pastor whose playlists peaked before the internet ruined everything—
You don’t need a remix of your life.
You need a new rhythm of grace.
The Christian life is not a montage.
It’s a walk.
And walks require trust—not hype.
Final Word: One Resolution. That’s It.
If you insist on making a resolution this year, make this one:
“God, I surrender.
I trust You more than my effort.
I will follow—even when I fail.”
That resolution:
Never expires
Never needs restarting
Never depends on your mood
Happy New Year.
May your goals be humble.
Your trust be deep.
And your music—like your pastor’s—remain unapologetically stuck in the era when music was music.
Amen.
The Best Is Yet to Come, (Except for Music)
Rev. John Roberts
I don’t make lots of resolutions, rather, I aspire to pray, trust, and lean of God’s guidance more. Do I achieve this goal all the time—certainly not! But I try harder and seek God more!