Where Have All the Men Gone?
Somewhere along the way, we traded in that grit for glitter.
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”
— 1 Corinthians 16:13–14
A Church Without a Pulse Feels Pretty, But Not Powerful
Let’s be honest for a second.
Some churches today look more like a Hobby Lobby than a house of worship.
Pretty walls. Perfect signage. A cross that matches the throw pillows.
That’s why I put wood on the walls at Heritage.
Not to be cute, but to remind us that this faith was built by carpenters, fishermen, and tentmakers—not influencers, not interior designers, and certainly not people who panic over rustic aesthetics.
Jesus worked with splinters in His hands.
David carried a sword in one hand and a harp in the other.
Paul made tents and took hits.
And somewhere along the way, we traded in that grit for glitter.
The Missing Men in the Pew
Across America, 73% of churchgoers are women.
Now, thank God for our sisters in Christ—they’ve carried the church when many men stayed home.
But we’ve got to ask the hard question: Where are the men?
Maybe they left because somewhere, church stopped speaking their language.
It started feeling like a waiting room instead of a war room.
It became a place to feel safe instead of a place to get strong.
Men walk into many churches today and think, “This place isn’t built for me.”
The décor says “fragile.” The music says “soft.” The message says “be nice.”
But the gospel says “pick up your cross and fight.”
You can’t disciple men with a tone that sounds like a spa commercial.
Jesus didn’t invite the disciples to a retreat; He invited them to a revolution.
If the church sounds like a lullaby, don’t be shocked when men fall asleep.
Biblical Manhood Isn’t Toxic—It’s Transforming
Let’s get this straight: Biblical manhood is not about dominance.
It’s about responsibility.
It’s not about ego—it’s about sacrifice.
Real men don’t flex their muscles; they shoulder their crosses.
God made Adam not just to exist—but to cultivate, to protect, to lead, and to build.
When men stop doing those things, the whole world suffers.
When men walk away, families fracture. When men stay silent, culture fills the void.
The world says masculinity is toxic.
But the Bible says masculinity is holy when it’s submitted to God.
Jesus flipped tables when sin polluted worship—but He also wept over Jerusalem.
He was tough enough to face a cross and tender enough to forgive His killers.
That’s manhood. That’s the model.
Jesus didn’t need a beard to be a man—He needed a backbone.
The Challenge Facing Men Today
Most men today are spiritually exhausted, emotionally isolated, and quietly ashamed.
They’re told to “man up,” but no one tells them what that means anymore.
Culture tells men to be strong but mocks them when they are.
It tells them to be sensitive but cancels them when they speak.
So they retreat. They numb out. They build walls instead of homes.
The church must become a place where men can walk in and hear,
Brother, you’re not broken—you’re built for battle.
We need men who pray with calloused hands.
Men who repent without excuses.
Men who love their families like Christ loved the church—not with Hallmark sentiment, but with Calvary sacrifice.
Real men don’t just attend church—they build one.
What Heritage Is Going to Do About It
At Heritage, we’re not just going to talk about reaching men—we’re going to do it.
That’s why my sermons might have some testosterone in them.
Not because we’re trying to be macho, but because the Bible isn’t boring and faith isn’t fragile.
We’re going to preach truth with grit, grace, and a little sawdust in the air.
We’re going to challenge men to grow deeper, lead stronger, love better, and serve harder.
We’re going to give men a vision worth bleeding for—a mission that matters more than money or ego.
When a man meets Jesus, it changes his soul.
When a group of men meet Jesus together, it changes the city.
You want to see revival?
Watch what happens when men stop playing defense and start leading their families on offense.
How We Change the Story
We don’t need a men’s ministry that smells like bacon and clichés.
We need a movement that calls men back to biblical identity.
Let’s stop asking men to be nice. Let’s start calling them to be noble.
Let’s stop asking men to show up. Let’s start calling them to stand up.
We’ll build a culture where strength and surrender live in the same heart.
Where faith feels like fire, not fabric softener.
Where men don’t just attend—they engage, protect, build, and lead.
Because the same Jesus who washed feet also walked through whips.
And the church that bears His name should carry both—a towel and a sword.
Prayer
Lord, awaken the hearts of men again.
Call us out of comfort and into courage.
Forgive us for mistaking politeness for power, and help us live as protectors, providers, and pursuers of Your kingdom.
Raise up men who will stand firm in faith, fight for their families, and follow You with bold humility.
May our church not just welcome men—but forge them.
In Jesus’ mighty name,
Amen.
A Place For Every Heart,
Rev. John Roberts
I like this message, and appreciate the focus. I realize that the issue being addressed is am important one—the role of men in the church.